Found Guilty: Oprah!

I like Oprah magazine--a lot of it is about culture (books and such), and there are good columnists, a lot of really good writers. And I like Oprah herself, I think she's a really passionate, compassionate woman. But when I picked up a copy of her mag this past summer and there was YET ANOTHER ARTICLE ON WEIGHT LOSS/GAIN I got completely fed up. This one was about some 40-something woman finding a picture of herself at 20, and going "OMG HOW DID I LET THIS HAPPEN??" and about all the different things she tried to lose weight. And then how she succeeded. And you can too!

I said to myself: If I see one more weight article in O, I am never going to pay for this magazine again. They have it at the library--I'll read it there, and skip the bullshitty parts. But no more money.

Here's this month's cover. I didn't even need to buy it, in order to begin my Renouncement:
The beginning of the article is on her web site. It's a whole fucking whiny song and dance about having gotten down to 160 lbs, and now being back at 200. She reveals that she hasn't been photographed at full length this whole past year (on the cover of her mag) because she's embarrassed about her body. ...You can see her body in the above pic. Anything for a 50-something woman to be embarrassed about? The woman works out every day, she can't possibly be in poor health. Look at the beginning of this article:

"You know how bad you feel when you have a special event, a reunion, a wedding, a bar mitzvah, and you wanted to lose that extra 10 to 40 pounds, and you didn't do it? So the day comes and now you've got to try to find something to wear that makes you feel halfway decent, and you have to figure out how to hold in your stomach all night and walk backward out of the room so no one sees that your butt keeps moving even when you stop."

O. M. G. No, no I don't know what that's like. I have never dieted for an event. I have never walked backwards out of a room because I was afraid of how my ass looks. Do I care about how I look when I get dressed? Yes. But once the clothes are on and I'm out with my friends, or at work, or out shopping, I don't give my looks much more thought. If there are people out there who can't stand the sight of jiggling asses, well, it must be very, very hard for them to get through even 5 minutes spent in public.

Look. I'll read the end of the article next time I'm at the library, but only to see if the conclusion is: And so I've learned to stop worrying about my body and I will never speak of it again.

If that's not the conclusion, then I'm OUT! Out out out. Ooouuuuuuuuuuut!!!!!!!!!

A Nice Fable for Christmas

Oscar Wilde's "The Happy Prince" is the best known of his depressing fairy tales. You can read my little summary, or watch the cartoon below (which is how I first heard the story as a child.) A nice anti-superficiality tale to warm the cockles of your heart this holiday season. :-)

The story is of a beautiful statue of a prince, but he's sad because from his vantage point he can see the miserable people in the town, but can do nothing to help them. He persuades a swallow to start picking off pieces of his gold leaf and his jeweled eyes etc., and bring them to the poor. The two are at this so long that the sparrow dies of cold.

The town politicians come along and exclaim at how ugly this statue is--and even a dead bird at its feet ew!--and have it taken down.

And Meanwhile in Heaven: God asks an angel to bring him the two most precious things in the city. The angel brings him the heart of the statue, and the dead bird, and God says: "You have chosen rightly."

Hotness Tip #3: Commitment to Growth

When Joseph Campbell studied world mythology he found a few recurring patterns, one of which is the hero myth:

- you begin with a Nobody
- he gets a call to adventure
- if he accepts it, he begins a journey towards some dragon who needs slaying
- along the way he will have a wise guide
- and a magical object
- and companions
- when he faces the dragon, he'll have the magical object, but no wise guide, no companions -- he has to do it alone
- after killing the dragon he gets the dragon's gold
- if he hoardes it, he too becomes a dragon and will one day require slaying
- but if he takes it back to his people and shares the riches, he becomes a hero

(Think of your favourite book or movie or religion--you'll probably see this pattern in some guise.) Campbell believed this journey was an analogy for the inner quest each person is called to--to become greater, and to bring something valuable to the rest of humanity. For example, the dragon might be your own low self-esteem, and then a challenge comes along in your life which can only be surmounted if you're willing to attack your own low self-opinion. If you take this call to adventure you'll find there is wise advice to be had (a friend, a teacher, a book, a tv show), and hopefully some companions (your spouse, your work buddies, your cat.) The wise figure will give you a magical object (a piece of advice, a paradigm shift, a helpful story), but when it comes to striking the final blow against the dragon (your low self-opinion) you'll have to do it alone. If you succeed, you will reap gold--that is, you'll discover all kinds of amazing qualities inside of you, qualities which have probably been there since you were born, but were overpowered by the bad things that happened to you in life. Once you've got that gold, you can find ways to use it in your life, and by doing so benefit other people.

I believe in answering the call to adventure. I think it leads to greater personal happiness and contentment and self-acceptance--and as Paris would say: That's so hot.

My Favourite Hero Journeys:
Star Wars
Jesus Christ
A Christmas Carol - Dickens
Thoreau's time in the woods

My favourite Hero Journey songs:

Moonlight Desires - Gowan
Secret fires burn inside me unknown
Never mentioned
Only you can uncover the flames
Break their silence
And make them dance for us to see them
And break their chains and give them freedom

Enjoy the Ride - Morcheeba
With the moonlight to guide you
Feel the joy of being alive
The day that you stop running
Is the day that you arrive

And the night that you got locked in
Was the time to decide
Stop chasing shadows
Just enjoy the ride

Hotness Tip #2 - Embrace Your Inner Ego

Martha Beck--my fave life coach who writes a column for O Magazine--has a nice little piece on increasing your attractiveness through self-acceptance. Here are some clips:

"Notice how your body moves when you trust that you're good enough. ...Feel the difference in your facial expression—or if you can't get a handle on that, then try to gauge the energy you exchange with other customers or the barista.

...You'll find something miraculous beginning, like the first tiny green crocus shoots emerging from snowy earth: Most people will accept you. They'll be attracted to you in a variety of ways. The more you release your defensive, self-conscious inner critic, the more you'll get smiles, courtesy, friendliness, all kinds of positive attention—not from everyone, but from most people. From enough people.

Let this connection between self-acceptance and attractiveness become an upward spiral, just as the conflation of rejection and ugliness has been a downward one. ... In general... the more you let go of the tedious delusion of your own unattractiveness, the easier it will be for others to connect with you, and the more accepted you'll feel."

For the rest of the article, and her exercises, click here.