"Us in the middle of this delusion"

There's a song I really like from an old Alanis Morissette album, about suicide. I have no idea if a suicidal person would find this song helpful, but I think the song says something True for anyone. That is: If all we consisted of was our bodies, our incomes, our rejections, etc. then yes, life would suck. But we're more than the sum of these parts. Yes yes, more than the fat thighs you don't like, the big nose, the hairy arms--hard to believe but... there's actually more to you than these things.



Joining You

dear dar(lin') your mom (my friend) left a message on my machine she was frantic
saying you were talking crazy that you wanted to do away with yourself
I guess she thought i'd be a perfect resort because we've had
this inexplicable connection since our youth and yes they're in shock
they are panicked you and your chronic them and their drama
you this embarrassment us in the middle of this delusion

if we were our bodies
if we were our futures
if we were our defenses i'd be joining you
if we were our culture
if we were our leaders
if we were our denials i'd be joining you

I remember vividly a day years ago we were camping you knew more than you thought you should know
you said "I don't want ever to be brainwashed" and you were mindboggling you were intense
you were uncomfortable in your own skin you were thirsty but mostly you were beautiful

if we were our nametags
if we were our rejections
if we were our outcomes i'd be joining you
if we were our indignities
if we were our successes
if we were our emotions i'd be joining you

you and I we're like 4 year olds we want to know why and how come about everything
we want to reveal ourselves at will and speak our minds and never talk small and be intuitive
and question mightily and find god my tortured beacon
we need to find like-minded companions

if we were their condemnations
if we were their projections
if we were our paranoias i'd be joining you
if we were our incomes
if we were our obsession
if we were our afflictions i'd be joining you

we need reflection we need a really good memory feel free to call me a little more often

i am RANTING!!!

I was watching the Daily Show this week, and Stewart was making some sort of fat joke. He was doing it in his jokey-self-conscious manner, aware that it was Supa Low Brow. And it again struck me how much we take Making Fun of Fat People for granted. I mean, I don't even think we make as many gay jokes as we do fat jokes. And I think there's more consciousness about gay jokes--people are more careful about not offending. But making fun of fat people is pretty much still a free for all, at least on TV and in movies (where it's not a fat joke about someone you actually know. Maybe in day to day life it decreases.)

I'm not so politically correct that I'm out for all fat/gay/sexist etc bla bla jokes, exactly. In a South Park context of satire, I'm in. But there are other contexts where I agree with Maya Angelou, who kicks people out of her house for bigoted comments--she just doesn't want kind of atmosphere around her. There's a side of me that doesn't want to be a PC Prig, but another side of me that becomes enraged at all the little ways we make the people around us uncomfortable. Shooting out all these strands of negativity and criticism, pointing out and laughing at, or disapproving of anything outside "the norm." Trapping everyone around them, and themselves, in webs of censure. It drives me fucking nuts and I've seen over and over how harmful it is.

People are SO OBNOXIOUS about overweight people. They really do think they're Just Lazy. They can just stop. They just have to eat less. Take the stairs a little more. And they give them ADVICE. ALLLL THE TIME! Believe me, every overweight person I know knows more about fitness and nutrition than the average citizen--it's not information they need. More like: Acceptance. Being treated like, you know, "normal people." If I know the person saying such things, my usual response is to pick out one of their most difficult challenges (they smoke, they're always late, they're bad with money) and ask them to quit cold turkey. I told one friend: "From this day onward, you will never, ever again be late for anything." He did make a go at it, and of course he failed.

What's worse about a food addiction is that you can't go cold turkey. You can't give up food. You will always, always be faced with your addiction, for as long as you're alive. It's like being addicted to too much breathing.

Another time, years ago, I was having breakfast with two guy buddies who are relatively athletic, and they went on the whole Fat Thing. And they mentioned being disgusted by the undressed body of their other guy buddy, who was only a little overweight (however that's measured). Being 90% asleep I was barely capable of rational thought, but this kind of topic arouses my fight instinct--my body reroutes all energy to my mouth so I can fight for my life. (Flight is not an option.) I don't know what I said... I hope it was blunt and resulted in Awkward Silence.

Today a colleague at work, who is gay, was telling us about his uncle who is (I think) in his 90s, and is getting married. And we were all oohing about how cool that was. And I was saying that it's great to have someone in your last years of life--I think that's when companionship becomes really important, when you're facing illness etc. I remember a woman on Dr Phil who used to bitch and moan because her husband was no longer romantic; and then she got cancer, and he was her rock throughout it, and it completely changed her perspective on romance. I saw that, and I said: Now that's what people should look for when looking for a mate. Patience. Kindness. Genuine caring.

Then the talk started about maybe Colleague would meet someone at the wedding, since he doesn't have A Man in his life. And Colleague said something like: "Ya, but he'll probably be fat and bald." So I said: "Come on, better to have Fat and Bald if he's kind and interesting and you want someone to end your days with." And Colleague #2 (a woman) said: "No! Set your sites higher! We expect you to do better than that!" So I said, coolly: "Well I'm married to Fat and Bald, and I wouldn't trade him for another man in the world. You should be less fussy if you really want to find someone." And then I turned back to my work.

I mean, what the fuck. One of our other colleagues just found, after some loneliness and searching and a crappy guy, a really nice overweight man who she's just crazy about, and who treats her really well. And she's gorgeous and skinny as a stick.

I think people seriously limit their lives with these prejudices. Really.

I can only handle so many pop tarts at a time.

This is the look Clarkson's sporting on her new single, which is a full on Dance Song. I hope her album will be in that middle territory between pop and rock--the P!nk territory. Because if she's totally crossed the line into Pussycat Doll as Nelly Furtado did... I will... uhh... write a very terse blog entry!

Update in March: The album is still rock music. Phew!

No no no... it can't be true. Sigh.

'At the end of the month, the company plans to introduce Latisse, the first federally approved prescription drug for growing longer, lusher lashes. ... It is one of several drugs in a category known as prostaglandin analogs, which are meant to reduce dangerous pressure in the eyeball. But as a side effect, the treatment tends to make the eyelashes of many patients longer and fuller. ...

David E. I. Pyott, Allergan’s chief executive .... compared the cost of longer lashes to a daily cup of coffee. “If you think about it in terms of luxury, it’s four dollars a day,” he said. “We think this is fairly acceptable to a large segment of people even in these times.”'

New York Times

Unnaturally white?

I just read a BBC article on how American stars are all opting for super-white teeth these days. The most interesting point one of the dentists makes is that Hollywood teeth are setting a new, an unnatural, standard of what is Normal.

Even more amusing were the comments to the article. Americans wrote: "Brush your teeth and go to the dentist, you Brits!" And the British replied: "We do, you morons! That's not the point of the article!"

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Teeth naturally vary in colour and the palette can tend closer to cream than white.

Kate Beckinsale, now glossy of mane and white of tooth

"US teeth are sometimes whiter than it is physically possible to get in nature - there is a new reality out there. The most extreme tooth bleaching is terrifying, it looks like it's painted with gloss paint and has altered what people perceive as normal," says Professor Jimmy Steele, of the School of Dental Science at Newcastle University.

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Innocent! Cate Blanchett (from online US magazine)

Cate Blanchett -- who currently stars in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button with Brad Pitt -- tells Vanity Fair: "I haven't done anything, but who knows. Andrew [Upton] said he'd divorce me if I did anything."

But that doesn't mean she'd never mess with her famous face.

"I'm not a spokesperson against the world of injectables," The 39-year-old actress says. "If you grow up in an environment where your mother gets you a boob job when you turn 18, what hope is there? But I didn’t grow up in that world. The reason I went to train as an actor was that I was interested in it for the long haul," she adds. "You can become very self-obsessed, but you've got to keep looking outward."

Blanchett says her body isn't the same after the birth of their three sons: Dashiell, 7; Roman, 3 and Ignatius, 7 months.

"When you've had children, your body changes; there's history to it. I like the evolution of that history; I'm fortunate to be with somebody who likes the evolution of that history. I think it's important to not eradicate it. I look at someone's face and I see the work before I see the person...." she adds.

Plus, Blanchett says plastic surgery doesn't stave "off the inventible" aging process.

"If you're doing it out of fear, that fear's still going to be seen through your eyes," she says. "The windows to your soul, they say."

http://www.usmagazine.com/news/cate-blanchett-my-husband-would-divorce-me-if-i-had-plastic-surgery