QUOTE OF THE NOW

"To face ourselves - that's the hard thing. The imagination - that's God's gift, to make the act of self-examination bearable." (Six Degrees of Separation)

Thursday, March 31, 2011

My Cat Haley: Goddess worshipper, feminist, glamor queen

I have so many projects on the go right now, SO much I'm trying to accomplish, I'm losing my head. I have a million blog ideas, but keep losing time to write them. So instead today... a blog posting I wrote on my personal blog, about my cat Haley. Also known as Wolverbean because of her snickety-snick capabilities.


Friend Maewitch came over this week, and then Friend Midnightstreet. Minion, it turns out, flees from new visitors. Well we never have anyone over (usually our place is too crazy messy.) She'll come out after half an hour. Or in the case of the Videotron man, after I go get her.

Haley, though, was so happy to have guests--female guests. Tortoiseshell and calico cats--cats with an orange/black/white coloring--are almost always female. So Haley is a staunch feminist, one of the man-hating kind. She belongs to one of these ancient goddess-worshiping religions. So having girls over was great for Haley, it was like Sex and the City, let's break out the cocktails, let's talk about sex, let's wear high heels and designer clothes. (Haley can fight like Wolverine but you may have noticed her gorgeous coloring. She's wicked beautiful.) Midnightstreet maybe talked a bit too much about babies for her liking, but she was a chick so it was all good.

As for Maewitch, she is not only a feminist (non-man-hating) but also of a wiccan flavoring, so Haley instantly recognized in her an "âme soeur" (as it would be more accurately said in French.) She was rubbing against her legs in under a minute. Mae also looks like a model, sometimes glams up in super heels and purses, and runs an online store for indulgent and decadent (but natural and usually vegan) perfumes and soapies...



Haley was in for the whole package. The perfect combination of feminism, goddess worship, hippy-tude (Haley's from Vancouver), and glamor. Not since she met me has she taken so naturally to someone. Now I don't even know what she saw in me--I've always suspected she was just trying to seduce me into helping her escape a dog-ridden house (my mother's) and now I suspect her of trying to get Mae to take her away to what has recently become a pet-free home. Mae kept offering her "sisterhood fistbumps."

"I should be on the masthead of Mae's site."
"I am pretty and you know you want to indulge me."

While she did manage to wrap Mae around her manipulative paw, I could never let another person take Haley except under extreme circs because (a) Fernando and I have seen her in Wolverbean mode (we've both been clawed through our jeans and up to our shoulders) and suspect few people would have the patience for that (maybe Mae would, but her boyfriend would enter into a fight to the death and either one's death would be tragic).
(My money's on Haley.)


And (b) I lobes my Haley.   :-) 

But if Fernando and I die in tragic accidentaltude...

Minion goes to Swiss Girl.

Haley goes to Mae. (I'll leave instructions on preventing Wolverbean episodes in my will.)

Just to show how manipulative she is, both Mae and Midnight made the same comment when they left my home, on their respective visits: (in sweet voice, scratching Haley on the head) "I thought you were supposed to be the crazy one."

They didn't see the wicked wink Haley gave me behind their backs.



Here's the cartoon I drew about the visit for my husband, who's away. (Click to see bigger.)
 
(I drew a star of David lol. Clearly there's some Kabbalah thrown in here.)

3 comments:

widdershins said...

I reckon all cats have the Wolverbean gene... some just have it in a more accessible place on their DNA strand.

bonafidebetty said...

Love the drawing!!!

London Mabel said...

@widdershins - Apparently cat DNA is uncomplicated, meaning close to what it's been for a long time. Whereas dog DNA shows all the breeding, and how much they've changed. That is to say, cats are still close to wild. But anyone who's seen an angry cat knows that--holy crap! That's why we love them. :-)

@bonafide - Thanks!! I wish I was a better, or at least a faster cartooner. I love it when people can use cartooning to illustrate their blogging, like on hyberbole.

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