|Shawn & Gus|
Gus: [grabbing his cell phone] I'm out of here. I'm calling a cab.
Sheriff Mendel: Well, those things don't work out here. We got no TVs, no radio, no refrigerators.
Gus: Sounds like prison. Except they have all those things.
Gus: It's Azkaban.
Shawn: I've heard it both ways.
Shawn: Gus, don't be the only black lead on a major cable network.
Shawn: Gus, don't be exactly half of an eleven-pound Black Forest ham!
- Shawn: Gus, don't be both Ashlee Simpson albums.
- Gus: There were three Ashlee Simpson albums.
- Shawn: That can't possibly be true.
- Gus: Autobiography, Bittersweet—
- Shawn: I will not do this with you right now!
Bad Guy: But know this: one stupid move, and I've got more than enough plastic bags for your body parts.
Shawn: Note to self: call Hefty with commercial idea.
Shawn: I have an idea, but we'll need cool names.
Juliet: Shawn, just so you know, if you go to prison I will not wait for you!
Shawn: Of course you won't. I'll escape; we both know that.
Gus: Shawn? What the heck are you doing here?
Shawn: I should ask you the same question.
Gus: I work here!
Shawn: I should ask you a different question.
And the one that expresses how I've felt all this year:
- Juliet: You're acting like a child, Shawn.
- Shawn: I am not acting!